I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
