You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
