I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize