Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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