what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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