well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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