Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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