Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
