you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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