Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
