I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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