I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
