maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
