apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize