White coat. Heels.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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