why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
