honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
