Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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