I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
