I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
