She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
