I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize