This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Randomize
