i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A bitchslap is in order.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize