tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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