Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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