I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...