i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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