we have officially lost it.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?