Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub

(413): View more from Massachusetts

I wish i could be there for it

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(413): Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning (1-413): More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub (413): I wish i could be there for it http://tfl.nu/f5kk

Replies (4) Good night (2254) Bad night (438)
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(281): View more from Texas

So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

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(281): So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head" http://tfl.nu/fk9k

Replies (34) Good night (5946) Bad night (1385)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.

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(580): Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged. http://tfl.nu/xha8

Replies (57) Good night (2190) Bad night (4334)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.

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(918): i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/hs1z

Replies (32) Good night (7288) Bad night (1138) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.

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(703): Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/f3x3

Replies (7) Good night (4162) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."

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(267): Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too." http://tfl.nu/ac9x

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dave a horae rider a coqw boy

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(414): Dave a horae rider a coqw boy http://tfl.nu/9zpn

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(248): View more from Michigan

noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.

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(248): noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life. http://tfl.nu/olll

Replies (5) Good night (3497) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.

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(717): Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection. http://tfl.nu/8fsy

Replies (7) Good night (423) Bad night (1104) Order T-Shirt
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(517): View more from Michigan

btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.

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(517): btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener. http://tfl.nu/k1i6

Replies (5) Good night (1809) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.

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(419): They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that. http://tfl.nu/gjrr

Replies (11) Good night (4668) Bad night (551)
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(416): View more from Toronto

He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.

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(416): He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead. http://tfl.nu/aau2

Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?

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(615): Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport? http://tfl.nu/4yvq

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(619): View more from California

I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!

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(619): I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends! http://tfl.nu/6jqq

Replies (5) Good night (347) Bad night (626)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.

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(248): Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels. http://tfl.nu/9jex

Replies (4) Good night (1148) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt

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