i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?