He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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