i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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