Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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