i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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