She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
