i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
