hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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