I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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