Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
