Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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