i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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