she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
