I want to have your abortion
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
