k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
