Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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