Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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