wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
