can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
