Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
