I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
