I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
