I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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