shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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