well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
