I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
