dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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