How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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