you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
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I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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