GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize