Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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