I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
