i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
